Just Lay For Awhile

Posted February 23, 2018 Written by Taylor

“When life knocks you down, try to land on your back. Because if you can look up, you can get up” Les Brown.

I believe Les Brown was right; if I can look up, I can get up. If I can look ahead, I can get ahead. Where my eyes are focused, there will I go. But sometimes, life knocks you to the floor so hard, you have to lie there awhile, and that’s okay.
I’m relatively young in the world and brand new to the whole “being an adult” part of life. It’s nothing what I thought it would be. It feels as though the rug keeps being ripped out from beneath me. As soon as I get my feet steady, there goes the rug again and I’m left lying in the mud. I use to try and get up as quick as humanly possible, heaven forbid if people saw me dirty and down. I was scared of people seeing me amid my challenges and failures. I wanted to uphold the Instagram life of perceived perfection. But everyone knows that isn’t really living because life isn’t always sunshine and roses.
In January 2018 I broke my arm pretty badly while snowboarding up at Brighton. I hit the biggest jump on the hill and it was way rad. Since how I’m now considered an “adult” I’ve inherited the responsibility of paying for my own needs. So I paid for the doctor visits, the X-rays, the CT scans, the surgery and everything else on my own because I don’t have insurance. All of this nearly whipped me clean of my savings. In the meantime, I had been planning a 30 day trip to Europe in the summer and am going starting school in the fall. This added expense made things tight but still obtainable. Then February 19th rolled around.
On February 19th I got a call, and not the one I wanted. It was a call from the surgery center saying not only did I still owe a third of my already large bill, but I also owed more money, doubling my totally bill. That 3 minute call made an already uncomfortable situation for me, a very painful one. The moment I heard the news, my heart sank to the bottom of my body. I knew what I still had in the bank and I knew it was nowhere near what was required. Once again the rug had been pulled from beneath me. My goal to go to Europe slowly faded in to the background and my hopes to start school in the fall, tossed in the air. Needless to say, it took a while for me to pick myself back up, brush myself off and continue onward. Eventually I came to grips with reality and realized the only thing I had control over was my attitude. I decided I was going to be happy, but my happiness only came after my sadness.
So when the rug gets pulled and you land in the mud, just lay there a while. Allow yourself to be sad, to be angry, to be confused, to be silent, to cry.  Those feelings are real and powerful and need to be let out. I find when I let them out; I can also let them go. Letting go can be a breath of fresh air, but in order to properly let them go, you must feel them first. It’s healthy for us to feel all our natural feelings. When you finally allow yourself to feel them all, you finally begin to be honest with yourself. No longer are you convincing yourself that everything is fine because frankly it’s not always going to be and that’s fine. That’s the way life is. I choose to take the time to let out all the bad, and it honestly hurt as it left. But when I let it all go, I’m left new and clear and ready to get back up and start again.
If you can look up, you can get up. But you don’t have to get up right away. Just remember why you started, remember what you’re fighting for. Remember that you have greatness inside of you and that you truly matter. You’re just having a rough day and to be honest, you’re in good company; we all have those days from time to time.
Be a champion, follow your heart and never stop getting back up.

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